You Don't Have to Be Perfect

I don’t care where you are in life or what you do for a living; there is NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT PARENT.  Yeah we may strive to try and be the BEST parent for our children, but I know for a fact we are far from receiving that PERFECT reward.

I mean what is perfect anyway? I know we may sometimes stress ourselves to the max to try and have everything in our life in order, but things can get out of hand.

So why should you feel guilty about it? In my opinion, we don’t need to have the finest clothes to stay up to date so we can fit in with others.  Yeah, that might be what other parents do, but for me, I won’t wear it unless it’s on sale and I can afford to. i'm just saying.

Sometimes, I admit, I can stress myself a little bit too much. It can be over things like keeping my house in order EVERYDAY. For example, before I leave for work, even if I’m rushing so I won’t be late, I feel everything needs to be back in place. I know there’s nothing wrong with a tidy home, but I decided it’s  to let things get out of place during the week. So when the weekend comes I can clean up and start fresh for the next week ahead.

When it comes to handling the kids, in a way you THINK  or was TAUGHT to do, it can be tough but just know each day is a lesson to be learned. Parenting on some days, well lets be honest, some moments are good; especially with toddlers; other days are not so good.

So do we need to beat ourselves up about it?Of course not. It’s not about having the perfect little house, family, etc. It’s about loving and progressing during the imperfections. It took me some time to get to this point, but I am more accepting of the not so perfect moments.

I most definitely want to pass this mindset to my kids. As they are getting older , I want them to know that it doesn’t matter what people say about you. I want them to be confident enough to know that’s it’s okay to not be perfect or to ‘’fit in the crowd’.Life has a lot more meaning than that.

So note to self and other mothers out there, I may sound like a broken record and I apologize, but some things may need to be repeated until it’s deeply rooted in our brains.

THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT PARENT. YOU’RE PERFECT THE WAY YOU ARE. AS LONG AS PROGRESSION IS YOUR PATH.

Movie Night, Real Life

This past weekend I finally had a ladies night without my kids and I really enjoyed myself.
My friend rented out her mini movie theater room in her apartment and invited some ladies from work.
It was genuine laughs, fun and tears. We watched a couple of movies and both movies had different but similar perspective on how we as mothers make a difference in our children's lives.
One of the movies was about a mother who had a bad past and had 2 kids that she gave up before she had another family. Her past end up catching up with her and it stirred up a lot of emotions. It made me think of the responsibility of being a parent and what I do affects my children's lives.
I say this because God gives us children for a reason, and while some women may thinks it's a burden, it really is a blessing. We are chosen to be parents, regardless of where we are in life. It's our choices in what we decide to do that can affect the outcome of it.
Children want to feel wanted and loved. After all, we don't get to choose who we want as parents anyway. There may be some families who may be worse off than others, but there is a greater purpose in each situation.
Towards the end of the movie all the kids end up reuniting and the mother end up apologizing for her not being in the other kids lives. The lesson I learned from watching this movie was my presence in my kids life is  more important than material things.

 PRESENCE IS BETTER THAN PRESENTS.

I always believed that, but I never really thought about it until now. No matter what I go through personally, my issues shouldn't affect how I treat my children. I'm sure we all struggled with letting our emotions get the best of us. For example, we may yell at our kids and tell them to go away and play. But is that really what we should be doing to them? Pushing them away in any form can affect them mentally and emotionally in the long run.
So a lesson for all of us mothers is to try our best to show our children as much attention as we can, when we can.
I know us working mothers, really don't spend as much time as we think with our children. Our kids only get a couple hours a day during the week and if you work on the weekend, I'm sure that's hard of them too.
So make the most of being in the presence of your children and prioritize your TO-DO-List around your kids time versus your time if you're able.

Words Are Powerful

I seen this picture and it almost made me cry. It says a lot about how we live and what we say to each other. It starts in our childhood years. We as mothers most definitely have been affected somehow in our younger years. Those words are in the reflection on how we see ourselves and how we see and treat others. Our children should not be a victim of those harsh words that was once said to us. We have to be more careful with what we say around them and especially to them. Words have power in someone's life, whether we know it or not. It can uplift or bring down someone's self esteem, regardless of how confident they may seem on the outside. We often count on what someone says to us as either a booster to how we act or move in life. I've come to realize that there are many things that have slowed me down from progressing. There are areas in my life that was affected because of what someone said to me. Those words continue to play in my mind and it only gets me down.
But no matter what anybody says to you, whether good or bad, you have to realize what YOU SAY or BELIEVE matters the most. You can have a 100 stabs of negativity thrown at you, but if you already know you are not what they say and believe you are an over-comer, then ALL praises to you and keep going.
You ever wonder why the children and teens react they way they do nowadays? With many of the violent acts, whether its gang related, suicide or just kids killing their parents. Where does this come from? Could it been a word or words that were said to that child many times? With no outlet or way out of the negative things pressed in their mind, they reacted only in a way they felt would take away the pain.

Do you believe that? I know for sure everything starts in the home. I know I have work to do, as far as molding my kids to be the best they can be. But we can only do so much right?
But if there was ONE thing you could do to change a person's life, what would it be??

I would definitely inspire them with my words!!!!

When You Know Better

I write this blog to vent on an ongoing issue I've probably been dealing with all my life. As long as I've known my rights and wrongs and I know everybody goes through this as well.
Doing better when we know better. ACTING OUT WHAT WE SPIT OUT.
Why is that so hard sometimes?
I mean we have the resources and tools right in front of us and we know what does and don't work for us, but yet it is so easy just to back down and do nothing.

I often laugh at myself because I am the inspiration and motivator to some, but when it comes to speaking to myself to do what I know I need to do, it becomes a mind battle.
I get lazy, frustrated, upset, worried and often have a pity party for Tae. lol
I have certain people I vent to and they give me all the encouragement in the world, stuff I ALREADY KNOW, but nah I'd rather just sit here and pout. Hoping and wishing my super hero will save the day.

When does it stop? When will I grow up?
I'm going to be 29 in less than 30 days and that's 1 more year to go until I hit the big 3-0.
So will I take off my bib and put on my grown woman heels and start fighting my battles like I know I should? Or will I keep going around the same circle another year of my life? I wonder if it's a genetic thing or lack of support? I mean to get people in the mood to not want to move  or do as much versus others who seem to have their support system intact.

Am I that lonely?

I mean I chose who I want to connect with, but it still seems like there's something missing. I often wonder what God is up to because I know there's a season for everything, but I'm ready to get out of this one and go to the next.

But am I ready?

Someone told me I'm the type of person who will get so close to accomplishing something,but once I get to that last step, I back down.
I laughed because that sounds about right. I am my own worse enemy.
We all can be our own worst critic when we have a million and one people giving us the thumbs up to keep going.
I must say I am a work in progress, but I can't use that phrase as an excuse to not push myself the the limit I know I need to in order to move on.

So, to all those who may be in this season of life, I suggest taking a self-inventory and see what the root of the problem is. What is holding you back?

I know I am definitely going to do some self-exploring and praying. I want to progress on a daily basis.
Like Nelson Mandela said "The greatest glory in living lies not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall."

So keep going mommies, our work is not finished yet.

Family Matters

 

I have a question. Does family being present in your life make a difference in how you are as a person and a mother?
I mean we grow up in families and some people don't really have that bond with other members of their families like most do.
Do you think that can be an issue on one's self esteem as they get older? I feel it can make a world of  a difference if you have a close bond with the family you were born into because that's where your support is supposed to come from. Right?

The love of a family is supposed to be stronger than any outside love, but in this world, it seems to be rare to know any families that show love but spread more selfishness.
I may be speaking for myself and I may hurt a few feelings, but I am speaking my truths and looking through my eyes.
As a mother and creating my own family, it hurts to know that my boys don't really know both sides of their families as they are growing up.  I guess maybe it's my fault for not being more involved or taking the steps to include myself, but you have to feel included to want to be involved right?
I don't want any self-pity from anyone as I am writing this blog, but sometimes I wish pride would die and love would arise.

I don't want my boys growing up and being divided because of the different things they may like as individuals. I do want to to be that mother, they can come to about anything and have Sunday dinners with. I would include anybody they bring in their lives into my home, as long as i see nothing wrong with them, and make them feel welcomed.
I must say I have a lot of wishes and hopes for my family (mom and dad's side) but right now as I am getting older, I am numb to the fact I even want any of them involved now. Of course, it's never to late for change but why does family often just become strangers as we grow older.

Social media has become our connection and comments on pictures we post have become our conversations.
Our differences in life, our taste of music and how we live have separated us to live life on our own. Usually we make friends become like our family. Is this wrong? Was this part of God's plan?
It's so easy for us to diss our family then to  let go of unhealthy relationship with an outsider. Why is that?
I mean I can list a million reasons on why I think that is, but I wont.

I just want to want know, WHY sometimes. This only pushes me to be better, as a person and a mother. I know God has a plan and sometimes maybe what we want is not what we need on our own journey of life.
So maybe, things are the way they are for a reason. I just have to be patient.